So when I say, “Smile, Corgi! It’s the longest we’ve kept a carpet this clean!", he hears, “Smile like ur launching ur own cologne, Corgi! And work that majestic chest floof!” Smh. (@STAINMASTER Carpet Pet Stain Remover, plz interpret Corgnelius’ suave, nonchalant nod as a big ol “thank u!” grin, like he’s a normal doge.) #sponsored by @Stainmaster #carpetales#cleanandprotect / #startedfromthebottomnowwehere
You can tell from the pic that i spend a pretty penny on rugs due to doge accidents. But since i got hooked up w @STAINMASTER Carpet Pet Stain Remover, I’m def gonna have more money and less rugs in my life. Thank you, STAINMASTER®!! #sponsored by @Stainmaster #carpetales#cleanandprotect /#StartedFromTheBottomNowWeHere
Rare photo captured: the 2 last unicorgs in the world. Like their distant relative, the unicorn, the unicorg have one horn protruding from its head, but r much stumpier & sillier by comparison. Due to their elusive nature, we only know the following facts: • They r loyal companions to fairies and allow them to ride on their backs. • Their farts, aka booty toots, turn into rainbows, • Their howls, "baroooo!!", emit a strong blast of silly and happy energy into the world. #unicorgs#sillycreatures
My boys pick me up a lot but there's days like today when they knock me down. (Literally.) I was just jogging to get my mail. Outta nowhere, my legs get taken out by a wrecking ball (formed by 2 corgis rolled up together from wrestling/running.) So ya, I go flying thru the air and land hard on the floor. As soon as I let out a scream of pain, Stump Stump takes off. Prob won't see him again. Corgi does the opposite- he runs right to me and tries to fuse into me. It's sweet, I know, but.. come on man, get ur furry body off my open wounds, plz?? (That's pic 1- he's refusing to budge from my lap even tho I'm trying to push him off me.) And pic 2 happened just this past Sunday. I knelt down to pet (wut I thought was a) sleeping Stump Stump. #nopes. He jumps up into my chin. Yadda yadda, I bite down on a chunk of my inner lip and while I'm bleeding thru paper towels, Corgi lays his butt down rite next to my head, and I hear "fttt". Ya. He farted. Disrespectfully close to me. While I was crying. And bleeding. #nextlevelfckedup
I've met Scout's parents long ago and they're such amazing, loving ppl. They've lost their silly corgi gal- they shouldn't have to deal w bs med bills on top of that. Go support them, link in profile. It's easy to just scroll by bc this is the internet and we're all faceless but.. be better than that. Care about sht once in awhile. I'm not telling u to overdraft (like I just did, ON PURPOSE, bc that's how I ROLL!! #fckmylawsuit#corgisalldayerrday 🔊🔊🔊), but if u have the xtra $, why not throw it at Scout's fam.
Wondering if Corgi still mjölnirs in the middle of driveways whilst cars r trying to get thru? Nope! .. it's actually.. quite worse. He now gets up, but only to like, get all up in the car's grill (#DoubleEnten🙌). So instead of dragging him, it's more of a tackle, then sumo fighting/ pushing him outta the driveway. #ohlife!! #yaneverknowwhereitlltakeya!! #silentweeping* #downingalize*
Day 11: Still blockaded inside- no exits, no food left.. the end is near. Never got to trip balls under the Aurora Borealis, never got to go to Ibiza so I can say, "oh, Ibitha's amaaazing. U NEED to go." Never chloroformed anybody.. But my biggest regret... prob telling the delivery ppl, "Oh, my painted, solid-platinum corgi statue? U can just leave it right there by the door... I doubt it'll tip over!" #whydidineedaplatinumstatue... #coughing* #no!! #itwas#essential!! #flatline*
Uhh, I was gonna say sorry for not posting recently but my follower count actually jumped up more than ush.. So... moving on...we're doin' good so no worries. And for the die-hard corgi fam, I've listed some highlights from the past week. #orshouldisay#frmthepastreek#damnugot!! #thetears!! #theyburn!!