A month and a half into this project, and I've stuck with it longer than I've ever kept a planner or "long-term" project in my life. I think it's good to periodically look back on things like this, to appreciate the bigger picture as well as the day-to-day. As you can see, I've had a day or two colored in black. Those days sucked. I cried a lot. And that's okay. I also have a day or two colored in pink. Those were each a freaking amazing day and I felt like the world turned and the sun shone for me. And that was okay. But mostly, as you can see, my days have been light blue or light green. They are average, fine, even good, but no mountain top or valley. And that, my friends, is okay too. In moments like these, I'm teaching myself that even the least memorable days are gifts, that I can find something beautiful in each of them. I'm also discovering that unfortunately, more often than not I don't appreciate them at all. That's what's not okay. Sometimes, as I try to decide what overarching feeling summed up my day, I wish I had more colors to express the complex emotions I feel. Sometimes I wish I could combine two colors into one day. But I think that looking critically back on each day I have is something special in itself, something I need to remember. All in all, I have made it to the end of another day. And that right there? That's so much more than okay.
To be perfectly honest, I've been looking for a cute or witty caption that could justify me posting this picture all day. Anything i thought of felt very contrived, and I was frustrated that I couldn't find anything that felt like it fit. • You know what DOES feel like it fits, though? Honesty and a check with reality. So here I am, posting it in the most real way I know how. • I did not take this picture today. I'm not wearing full makeup or a cute dress. Today, I have greasy hair and no makeup and blotchy skin and clay all over my jeans and t-shirt. • I'm posting this picture today because it makes me feel pretty and confident. • I'm posting it because today, I did not feel pretty OR confident. Today I was homesick; today I laid in bed for an hour and a half because I couldn't bring myself to do anything and cried my eyes out. • I'm posting it on a day like today because yeah, people liking your photos makes you feel good, as much as you might like to deny it. • As strange and rambling as this caption is, I'd much rather post this selfie with something that's authentically me tied to it, than try and fake perfection. Today wasn't perfect and that's ok, but maybe I can remember days like this one and remind myself to smile in the sunshine a little more.