Over the years I’ve figured out my scheduling sweet spot. I require a whisper fine balance between structure and flexibility, more unspoken-for space and time than I ever used to realize, and endless supplies of trust in myself, my intuition, and my process. I’ve always had a co-competing resistance to structure and need to schedule. There’s so much I want to do in life, and so many people with whom I want to connect and foster relationship; without planning and scheduling, those things just don’t happen. They either fall through the cracks of other, more pressing things, or every time an invitation or opportunity comes in I’m already involved in something else. So planning is mandatory and I cannot truly convey the depth to which the Google calendar/Smartphone combo has improved the quality of my life. And again, there’s that resistance to too much structure, a bodily repulsion from the shackles of obligation that clasp around my wrists and windpipe when I don’t have the freedom to mix and match or pick and choose what I do when, based on (travesty of all travesties) what I FEEL like doing. Force does not work here, Friend. My body will find its way to sleep at any hour of the day, my mind will spin out in anxiety laps, or my heart will bring on emotional retaliation in the form of tears, angst, depression or malaise. I am at once a deeply-rooted rule-follower and a viscerally-metabolized rule-rebeller. Pretty much my whole life outside of the past 6 or 7 years has been spent in cycles of saturated fullness followed by overwhelm, culminating in rest and replenishment (often-times forced through sickness, anxiety-induced shutdown, or mom’s orders!) Then repeat. I’ve been aware of this cycle of mine forever, and I thought it was the price I paid for putting things off. I wasn’t mad at myself about it. But I thought it was what I deserved for indulging my desires and whims instead of strictly following well laid plans. It’s only been in the
✨Life is how YOU define it✨ YOU are the one who gets to determine what things in life look like and mean to YOU- relationships, success, wealth, love, health- these are all things YOU get to decide what they mean to you in YOUR life. Nobody else. 😎
Whenever I feel I am settling in, getting comfortable, something in my life happens to remind me that there is still growing to be done. There are still aspects of myself that need nurturing and some aspects of my life that need pruning. There are still wounds that need healing and old patterns that need to be released. • At first these stages of growth felt so uncomfortable and intense, I thought I would never be able to breathe again. But as time goes on, it doesn’t hurt so much and I feel content with knowing that this journey is unfolding exactly as it’s meant to. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to have everything figured out right now. It takes time, and I am proud of myself. I am proud of how far I have come. • I have compassion and love for the person I was. I am proud of who I am now, and I am able to look to the future with hope and anticipation for the person I am becoming and the abundant life I am creating.
How successful you truly feel inside, determines the amount of success that flows to you. I have always felt somewhat successful and is exactly what I have always gotten; somewhat success. Mediocre success. Almost there success. But if I want to feel extremely fulfilled and satisfied, that is exactly the feeling that I muster up inside. What we get is exactly proportional to who we are being daily. Nothing less, nothing more. Don't ask for miracles if you are only willing to put out half assed action. If you want to roar big you gotta play bigger! We must show up. There is no other way to growth 💪🏻🌎❤️
Just having good intentions isn't enough to propel us very far. Forward Movement requires forward action. The best strategy is to DO exactly what we SAID we were going to accomplish. That way we start trusting our own word, and then the universe credit us for such high ethics in living coherently.
This is trusting our intuition. I stopped saying “I’ll think about it” and have replaced it with “I’ll feel into it. “ because that’s much more accurate for my process. The thinking brain in the head is helpful for logistics and the details. But big decisions need to come from a deeper brain, a deeper consciousness. Anything important needs to be felt into through body consciousness. At a young age your taught to distrust this instinctual self and encouraged to “Use your head” and that’s what gets us into trouble. Thoughts circling in our head can take us over here and then there, weighing the pros and cons. Leaving us in a place where we feel unsure If we’re making the “right” decision. Meanwhile your instinctual self KNOWS the answer. We have a brain 🧠 in our heart ❤️. A brain in our gut. And a less talked about brain 🧠 in between our legs. Our pussy 🐱 brain. She knows all sorts of things. She knows what you desire. She knows what turns you on. She knows what feels good and what doesn’t. Trust this oracle between your legs. Let her guide you today. Move through you day feeling into what feels good to her. And let that energy move up through the gut, and through the heart before your head gets involved. Trust your deep full bodied KNOWING. ❤️🐍❤️