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Scotty Sire


our thighs are thick but that's ok snapchat/twitter - imnotscottysire biz - scottsire@gmail.com

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Two Two Hats on Too Much Scotty next to two honey bears wearing two different hats which may seem like a little too much twos and toos but to be honest @twohatsbeer is never too much #waitwhat
thanks for making sure i didn’t die the night we met. although i think you’ve made me a little better of a person each day, i don’t think i’ll ever learn how to take care of myself. so sorry for sucking you into this job as my caretaker, thanks for not quitting ❤️
For some, Valentine’s Day means fancy lingerie, expensive gifts and romantic getaways. But Kristen and I are happy celebrating #likeacaptain at home in our #mycaptains where we can enjoy each other’s company, a few sweet treats, and a @CaptainMorganUSA drink or two. #captainmorganpartner
a hoe never gets cold
never let go davey, never let go.
he was cold, so we gave him the clothes off our backs. the warmth of david’s love is what fuels our existence.
i usually hug him with my eyes open because i always want to admire his gorgeousness, but with all this flash photography i think i’m going blind 💜🤪🤪
I heard @JLo was performing at Super Saturday Night and got a little excited. How does this outfit look on me? #jlonow #dtvinfluencer
finally got a picture with my otp
that’s the last time i invite my side chick to the same party as my main chick
i remember simpler times
here’s 2 the new year. (if you zoom in on our fingers you will notice that we are both holding up 2 fingers. which explains the pun i made in the beginning of this caption)
it cost me $3000 to rent this reindeer for 4 hours please like this picture
nobody wants a lonely christmas // music video is up now
Kristen and I are giving Zane the gift of @CaptainMorganUSA and told him he could spend his Christmas with us. Fortunately I was basically giving myself a present, since now I'll have someone to share a drink with. Click the link in my bio and use the code GIFTLIKEACAPTAINSCOTTY for 20% off on their website! #ad #likeacaptain #holiday
I do not like being alone, but I do like being left alone. This morning I took my computer out of my room and brought it to my living room, where I have been surrounded by 10 or so friends all day. Their voices annoy me, and it is very hard to get work done while david films bits and zane reenacts his favorite memes. I’m writing this caption with my headphones plugged in, listening to a “Cognition Enhancer For Clearer and Faster Thinking”. My head was clear of distraction for just a few seconds before Todd backed his chair into mine and then spun around to ask me a question. My caption is too long, Jonah is screaming now. I’m sorry for posting another picture in these matching suits, I just watched David’s vlog to try and help tell him what could be cut out to save time. The dog in this picture is very cute, hold on.. I have to go my dog is chewing a toilet brush.
year 2141, bitcoin has reached its limit of 21,000,000 coins. the world government was worried that the crypto currency would normalize the trade of drugs so they made drugs legal in an attempt to make them less “cool”. it backfired; free drug trade lead to a vast expansion of the drugs available, until one was created that started to mutate humans into 6 foot butterflies without wings (butterflies are terrifyingly ugly without wings). there are very few humans left, but those strong enough to fight formed a rebellion to do war against the army of wingless insectoids. Comment below if u would join the fight. Picture unrelated.
the blueberry boys
he’s on the outside always looking in will he ever be in my pictures again and he’s tap tap tappin on the glass taking pictures of his 10 toes
not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. some girls are made of sarcasm, wine, and everything fine 💁🏼‍♀️🍷👑
my sweet prince. it was the 5th century in Denmark, a time when beasts and magic existed in our world. an ogre by the name of Grendel plagued my village; coming each night to murder my people, eat our food, and drink our wine. one night my parents were lost trying to protect me from the creature, and i was left to fend for myself. it must have been fate that you showed up to my village the next night. i was huddled next to a bale of hay on the dirt road. after seeing the fear in my eyes, you struck your sword into the ground, knelt down and placed a gentle hand on my head... promising that you would always protect me from the demons of the world and those that lived in my mind. that night, when grendel attacked i expected you to slay him. But you had stolen a barrel of wine and left. Grendel killed everyone. i will never forget the brief glimmer of hope you gave me Kristenwulf Harmonius Maximus. yours always, the last guy alive in his village