I do not like being alone, but I do like being left alone. This morning I took my computer out of my room and brought it to my living room, where I have been surrounded by 10 or so friends all day. Their voices annoy me, and it is very hard to get work done while david films bits and zane reenacts his favorite memes. I’m writing this caption with my headphones plugged in, listening to a “Cognition Enhancer For Clearer and Faster Thinking”. My head was clear of distraction for just a few seconds before Todd backed his chair into mine and then spun around to ask me a question. My caption is too long, Jonah is screaming now. I’m sorry for posting another picture in these matching suits, I just watched David’s vlog to try and help tell him what could be cut out to save time. The dog in this picture is very cute, hold on.. I have to go my dog is chewing a toilet brush.
year 2141, bitcoin has reached its limit of 21,000,000 coins. the world government was worried that the crypto currency would normalize the trade of drugs so they made drugs legal in an attempt to make them less “cool”. it backfired; free drug trade lead to a vast expansion of the drugs available, until one was created that started to mutate humans into 6 foot butterflies without wings (butterflies are terrifyingly ugly without wings). there are very few humans left, but those strong enough to fight formed a rebellion to do war against the army of wingless insectoids. Comment below if u would join the fight. Picture unrelated.
my sweet prince. it was the 5th century in Denmark, a time when beasts and magic existed in our world. an ogre by the name of Grendel plagued my village; coming each night to murder my people, eat our food, and drink our wine. one night my parents were lost trying to protect me from the creature, and i was left to fend for myself. it must have been fate that you showed up to my village the next night. i was huddled next to a bale of hay on the dirt road. after seeing the fear in my eyes, you struck your sword into the ground, knelt down and placed a gentle hand on my head... promising that you would always protect me from the demons of the world and those that lived in my mind. that night, when grendel attacked i expected you to slay him. But you had stolen a barrel of wine and left. Grendel killed everyone. i will never forget the brief glimmer of hope you gave me Kristenwulf Harmonius Maximus. yours always, the last guy alive in his village
my sweet prince. it was a midwinter night when you saw me naked and alone huddled in a cardboard box on the streets of new york city. my home was a nook on the steps right off to the side of emilio’s ballato, a nook not nice enough to protect me from the snow. you took off your coat and offered it to me, after making a joke about my penis getting frostbite and it falling off. i laughed at your joke and you liked that, you appreciate when people laugh at your jokes. you brought me to your penthouse and offered me your guest room until i found a place to stay. i never found a place to stay, and you never pressured me to leave. so here i am, laughing at your jokes to this day. even when they aren’t funny. i appreciate the life you’ve given me, the water fountains filled with hawaiian punch, and the unconditional love you have for me. Thank you, Chuck Todd Bass. heir to the Throne of New York. yours always, the boy with the frost bitten penis
my sweet prince. when i was just a boy, you saw me stealing bread from Bartholomew, the bread merchant in the local market. knowing i was hungry, alone, and needed help, you took me to your palace and convinced your father to care for me. you put a roof over my head and made sure i had plenty to eat (although not as much as you). i am who i am because of what you did for me when i was just 8 years old. happy birthday my savior. Zayeb-titi-Zanethesis the fourth. i love you. yours always, scooter
So proud of everything this girl has accomplished in so little time. Never have I ever been so impressed with such a tiny human. Congrats for being the cutest person to ever win a Teen Choice Award. Love you Liza!
Everyone's got a little Captain in 'em, but tonight we all somehow ended up having a little Captain outfit ON us too! Happy Halloween weekend from myself, Jason, and our Captain David! Enjoy responsibly with some @CaptainMorganUSA #ad#halloween
the scent i released from my pits used to kill the grass when i lifted my arms and rested my head on them, but thanks to @OldSpice Invisible Spray my lawn no longer has to worry about my stench. I just have to worry about my allergies to grass. new vlog up! link in bio #sponsored#obviously