the scent i released from my pits used to kill the grass when i lifted my arms and rested my head on them, but thanks to @OldSpice Invisible Spray my lawn no longer has to worry about my stench. I just have to worry about my allergies to grass. new vlog up! link in bio #sponsored#obviously
i wave to the car next to me struggling to merge, signaling that it's okay for him to cut in front of me. i'm not usually this generous. On most occasions i'd think to myself, "this asshole can wait" but today something is different. as he pokes his head out the window to thank me i am ready. my trigger finger is on the play button underneath my slightly chipped iphone screen. i've had this song paused at this exact spot for exactly 1 week, 5 days, and 14 hours just waiting for this moment. i hear him yell out, "thank you" and i release my finger from the play button instantaneously. shit, my volume is down. the song doesn't play. i sit in a dumbfounded silence as the man drives off ahead of me. i've missed my opportunity to blast "You're Welcome" by Dwayne Johnson.
why do i look like a movie villain who just got his hands on the movies unsuspecting hero about to lead him on the wrong path until he finally realizes that i'm evil and ultimately ends up defeating me after we engage in mortal combat
HEY PALS IM IN A SHOW 🖥 Elton and I spent a bunch of time filming this and it just released today. You can watch us hurt ourselves on fullscreen.com/foxtossing 🙂I'd love to hear what you guys think of it, i'm really happy with how it turned out @fullscreen #foxtossing